February 05, 2011

Real Happiness

Day 1: I "meditated" for fifteen minutes.  I use quotes because as hard as I tried to focus on breathing little thoughts (to do lists, plans for the rest of the day, completely random bullshit) kept popping into my head.  Salzberg says not to berate yourself when this happens, so I just re-focused my attention on breathing.  Not thinking about anything else actually required a lot of focus and energy.  The one time I didn't want to multitask, it was all i could do! But by the end of the fifteen minutes I was feeling very relaxed and was bummed when my alarm went off.  (that's right, i set a meditation alarm.  i have things to do!)

Day 2: much the same as day one.  it takes a lot of energy to empty my mind and then keep it that way.  I can usually focus on just my breathing for 5 minutes but after that a stray thought, worry or plan will sneak in and then it's like the floodgate open and it takes me another five minutes to get back to focusing on my breathing.  But those five minutes of nothing are pure bliss.

Day 3: I didn't meditate today but I did ask my Aunt who is waaay into meditation (Like, go-to-an-ashram-in-india-for-three-weeks-and-meditate-EATPRAYLOVE-style into meditation) for pointers.  She suggested a mantra because when she focuses solely on breathing she ends up trying to control her breath (which is what I was doing!)  So I think I'll give a mantra a try.

Day 4:   Mantra option 1: "I am present now"
                Mantra option 2: "keep breathing, keep loving"
okay maybe not this one...

No comments:

Post a Comment